Retirement can bring couples closer together, but it can also lead to increased conflict. One couple, both retired, is considering a temporary separation to salvage their marriage. They are not alone; a survey conducted by Transamerica in December 2025 revealed that 17% of retirees report feeling isolated and lonely. While companionship during retirement is often a remedy for such feelings, excessive togetherness can have the opposite effect.
As couples transition into shared retirement, they might find themselves spending more time together than they did when they had separate careers. This shift can lead to tensions and disagreements, prompting some to contemplate a break. Relationship therapist Dr. Karen Stewart suggests that a structured separation might be beneficial if approached thoughtfully.
“A structured break at any time in a marriage could not only save the marriage, but could also improve overall wellness and happiness for both individuals in the relationship,” says Stewart. To ensure the break is productive, she emphasizes the importance of setting clear boundaries and expectations regarding the separation.
If a couple decides to proceed with a break, they should establish a specific time frame, determine how often they will communicate, and create a narrative to share with friends and family. Financial arrangements during this period also need to be discussed to prevent misunderstandings.
Taking a break does not necessarily lead to divorce. Stewart notes that it can actually strengthen a relationship, particularly when coupled with professional guidance, such as couples therapy.
Understanding the Need for Space
Licensed clinical mental health counselor Keisha Saunders-Waldron highlights the challenges of retirement on marital dynamics. “Retirement throws couples into this intense togetherness that they haven’t experienced since maybe early marriage or having young kids at home,” she explains. The sudden shift from individual routines to constant proximity can be overwhelming.
While a physical separation may provide immediate relief, it often fails to address underlying issues. Waldron advocates for creating structured space within the relationship instead of opting for a complete separation. She suggests that couples consider personal hobbies, volunteer commitments, or regular meetups with friends to maintain individual identities while still being a couple.
Waldron also recommends rethinking the physical space at home. Couples can designate specific areas where each partner can retreat when they need time alone. This arrangement helps to prevent feelings of suffocation and allows for personal reflection.
Establishing ground rules for time spent together versus solo time is crucial. Many retired couples fall into a routine of being physically present but not emotionally connected. Waldron advises committing to activities that foster meaningful conversations and connections.
If couples find themselves discussing separation, seeking professional help is advisable. “A good therapist can help you navigate this transition, teach you communication skills, and figure out if there are deeper issues beyond just too much togetherness,” Waldron adds.
Reconnecting with Each Other
In the midst of exploring personal space, couples should also focus on rekindling their connection. Trying new activities together, going on dates, and engaging in shared laughter can remind partners why they chose each other in the first place.
Both Stewart and Waldron agree that while the idea of taking a break can seem daunting, it can ultimately lead to a healthier, more fulfilling relationship if approached with care and consideration. Recognizing the need for balance and addressing issues proactively can help couples navigate the complexities of retirement together.
As retirees assess their relationship dynamics, the prospect of a temporary separation might not signal the end, but rather, an opportunity for renewal.
