As Valentine’s Day approaches, college students are increasingly voicing their frustration with well-meaning but often unhelpful dating advice from friends and family. Many single students find themselves surrounded by couples, leading to a sense of isolation and pressure to find a partner. This growing sentiment reflects a broader trend, with approximately half of adults in the United States reporting that dating has become more challenging over the past decade, according to data from Pew Research.
Repetitive Advice and Modern Dating Challenges
Sara Pimenta, a senior studying managerial economics, appreciates when loved ones check in on her dating life. Yet, she often finds their advice to be generic and repetitive. “People usually say things like ‘Go out and meet people by doing activities you enjoy,’ or ‘When the timing is right, it will happen,’” Pimenta explained. While the advice is well-intentioned, it fails to account for the complexities of modern dating.
The landscape of romance has evolved significantly, making it more difficult for students to find compatible partners. Erin Burnett, a fourth-year neurobiology, physiology, and behavior major, highlighted the inadequacy of traditional dating advice, particularly within the queer community. “As a queer person, people suggest things like, ‘Just go up to someone and flirt with them.’ It’s not always easy to tell who else is queer,” Burnett said. This heteronormative perspective often overlooks the nuances of modern relationships, particularly for those who identify as femme-presenting.
The Need for Understanding and Support
Navigating the dating scene can be daunting, especially when friends and family inadvertently provide clichéd advice. Aashi Shah, another third-year student in neurobiology, physiology, and behavior, emphasized the importance of empathy. “We’re in an age group where many are in relationships, but people are at different levels of seriousness,” Shah noted. This disparity can create additional pressure for those who are single, leading them to feel like outsiders.
The constant presence of social media further complicates these feelings, especially around occasions like Valentine’s Day. “Every time it’s National Boyfriend Day or Valentine’s Day, it floods your feed with reminders that everyone you know seems to be in a relationship,” Shah added. Such reminders can intensify feelings of loneliness and stress for those without romantic partners.
While the pressure to be in a relationship can be overwhelming, there are ways for students to protect their mental health during this time. Psychologists suggest focusing on appreciating non-romantic relationships with friends and family as a way to celebrate love without the pressure of finding a partner.
Ultimately, students are encouraged to remember that their worth is not defined by their relationship status. “Just knowing that you have a lot of people in your corner who love you can do a lot more for you than a relationship will,” Shah advised. The message is clear: love exists in many forms, and students should embrace the connections they have, regardless of romantic involvement.
