UPDATE: New insights from psychotherapist Vanessa Marin shed light on the intimacy struggles many exhausted parents face. With 37% of mothers expressing dissatisfaction with their sex lives, Marin emphasizes the urgent need for solutions. This issue particularly affects Millennial moms, with 74% citing a lack of time and energy as key factors in their sexual satisfaction.
As parents collapse into bed after a long day of juggling chores and children’s needs, they often face another hurdle: reconnecting with their partners intimately. Marin argues that initiating sex—even when you’re not “in the mood”—can transform your relationship. “Initiating sex is about showing your partner that they’re important and that intimacy is a priority for you,” she explains.
The pressure of waiting for the “perfect moment” is unrealistic, especially for busy parents. Marin suggests small gestures—like a quick kiss or playful touch—can be enough to spark intimacy. “You don’t need hours of uninterrupted time,” she asserts, emphasizing the importance of seizing small opportunities for connection.
For couples where one partner always initiates, Marin advises open communication. She encourages partners to express the need for mutual initiation. “It would mean so much to me if you initiated sometimes, too,” can be a powerful statement to foster connection.
Marin also highlights the significance of non-sexual touch throughout the day. Simple acts like cuddling or sending flirty texts can keep the spark alive, even when parents are running on fumes. “You’ll actually be able to feel the exact moment that oxytocin is released,” she notes, indicating its role in marital satisfaction.
The expert warns against the “bristle response,” where partners feel tense or disconnected from each other’s touch. To combat this, Marin suggests that partners verbally ask about intimacy, which can help normalize physical touch outside of sexual contexts.
With the right approach, parents can rediscover intimacy, turning the end-of-day exhaustion into an opportunity for connection rather than another task. Marin’s strategies offer a roadmap for parents seeking to revitalize their relationships amidst the chaos of parenting.
As parents navigate the challenges of intimacy, the message is clear: effective communication, small gestures, and an openness to connection can make a significant difference. Parents are encouraged to take immediate action to enhance their relationships, fostering a fulfilling intimacy even in the busiest of times.
