Jessica recently hosted a formal Christmas luncheon for both her family and her husband’s family at their home. She dedicated considerable time to crafting an inviting atmosphere, complete with flowers, festive Christmas crackers, and personalized place cards for each guest. This tradition, inspired by her grandmother, was meant to provide a memorable experience. However, during the event, one guest moved the place cards, thus altering the seating arrangement to sit next to her partner instead of across the table. Jessica is now seeking advice on how to prevent such disruptions in the future.
Kristy McCormally, a writer and hospitality educator, responds to Jessica’s concerns with a reassuring message: she did nothing wrong. According to McCormally, the essence of hosting involves careful planning and creating a welcoming environment. “A good table doesn’t happen by accident; it’s composed,” she asserts. This approach emphasizes that seating arrangements are not mere formalities but rather integral to the overall dining experience.
The unexpected alteration in seating was not Jessica’s fault, as it occurred at a critical moment just before the meal. McCormally acknowledges that intervening at that point is impractical, stating that no one wants to wrestle for a place card right before guests are seated. Instead, she advises Jessica to remain gracious and let it go during the actual event.
To avoid similar situations in the future, McCormally suggests a proactive approach. Before guests are seated, she recommends conducting a final check on the place cards. If any adjustments have been made, simply return them to their designated spots. This should be done casually and without drawing attention to the changes.
If a guest does attempt to rearrange the seating in front of you, McCormally recommends keeping a few simple phrases in mind to assert your authority. Phrases such as “Let’s keep the seating as it is today — it’ll be fun this way,” or “I put a lot of thought into this table. Let’s try it,” can effectively convey your intentions. She emphasizes that this is not a matter of rudeness but rather an exercise in leadership.
According to McCormally, guests appreciate a host who takes charge. Hosting is not about accommodating every request in advance but about cultivating a trustworthy and enjoyable environment. By setting the table thoughtfully, Jessica has already laid the groundwork for a successful gathering.
As McCormally concludes, Jessica can look forward to her next hosting opportunity with confidence, equipped with the tools to maintain her vision for the event. The art of hosting, she notes, ultimately lies in creating an experience that resonates with guests, allowing them to enjoy the occasion fully.
Kristy McCormally is based in Suffolk, Virginia, and operates Truitt House Living, where she teaches a modern approach to hospitality rooted in beauty and connection. Readers interested in seeking advice can submit their questions to [email protected].
